Pest & Psst
Need a TheraPist
“You can’t make anyone happy, just like no one else can make you happy. Because real happiness doesn’t work like that. You have to learn to be happy on your own. Then you can start worrying about being happy with somebody else.”
The Therapy Stigma
First and foremost, society must unlearn that seeing a therapist is considered a negative connotation. It is nothing but to the contrary. To seek the help of a non-biased professional is the wisest and healthiest of all. Whose only purpose is to encourage your growth. Ask yourself, do you wish to stay unhappy for the rest of your years (do you know how many are left?), Or do you want to acknowledge, learn, practice, and grow into a more robust and healthier version of yourself.
The original sense of the word 'therapist' in its Greek form therapuetes, was an attendant. A therapist, should therefore be a specialist in attentiveness and awareness.
Remember, those that consider therapy as ignominious are indeed themselves caught in a web of insecurity—analyzing what others think of you before your stable mind is a weakness that shrieks the need for therapy. There is no shortcut. If you are an adult executing the same former mistakes, repeating the very behavior, and still stringing on your perspective, then indeed, you do not hold enough self-worth or self-love to hold the desire to escape the cyclic behavior of the dark cloud.
A small decision to see a therapist can bring about significant changes. But first, you must believe in the cause. You must trust that the therapist, your therapist, holds your best interest at heart. Beginning with that belief and trust will get you farther than you perceived. You will thank yourself after the fact and fall in love with the new you.
Additionally, the new you will be less unreasonable and more open, and willing to improve and change even more. As beings, we are ever-evolving and changing. There will never come a time where one cannot learn more. Knowledge and wisdom are in abundance, and it is ready for you, except only if you so allow it.
“Probably the wisest words that were ever uttered to me. Came from a therapist. I was sitting in her office, crying my eyes out. . . and she said, “So let me get this straight. You base your personal happiness on things entirely out of your control.”
“I am a therapist because I have come to learn that a tremendous amount of people feel alone, left out, unheard, irrelevant, tired, worthless, unconnected, unwelcomed, sad, anxious and fearful. They need someone to listen to them. They need someone to teach them they have value. They need skills to help them change their sadness and fear to happiness and courage. I am a therapist because when I see people struggle in that way I want to reach out and help. I can encourage. I can teach.”
Therapeutic Empathy
Therapy begins with empathy - not patronizing sympathy, but instead, one that is unflinching. Empathy of this sort is highly attuned to the client, no matter the circumstance. The therapist strives to "travel in the client's shoes" or "view the world from the client's perspective" to understand their emotions, cognitions, and beliefs - in short, to understand from the perspective of the other. Treatment involves understanding that a client's defeatist and helpless, disempowered, or "masochistic" perspectives can be a logical outgrowth of formative traumatic experiences and, further, maybe highly creative means of self-protection. The therapist must not attempt to undo or "make up for" past abandonment or betrayals by their client's caregivers or in their close relationships, but instead, first understand the client's perspective and approach to the world while working to provide alternative perspectives on both past and present that promote change.
Stop judging and start budging
So why are you sitting behind closed doors wallowing in thoughts that become energy and transform into actions that result in more conflict? Why? Does this limited version of you feel good or free? Would you not wish to break free from the chaos. Our head plays mind games with us. We underestimate the bullshit storms it thrusts at us, and we foolishly believe it to be accurate, and then we lay conditions on our happiness. True happiness comes when there are no conditions. A free soul is the happiest of them all. Stop imagining, struggling, and lying to yourself. Stop putting unnecessary pressure on yourself. Your thoughts become unrepairable words and ramifications that only develop new resentment on top of old resentment. You are digging into deep waters and immersing yourself in negative turmoil. If you cannot see, feel, move past it on your own, allow a professional to guide you. I know it's hard, very hard. But the sooner you accept reality, the sooner it will become less stressful, and one day you will feel the burden slowly dissipating away. You will start to feel light and love. That positivity will radiate more positivity, and you will never wish to regress. Hang in there and get some help.
“As a psychotherapist I’ve taught this skill many times: learn how to pay attention and experience life rather than hurry through it.”
Take The Free Test Below
I've taken the liberty of adding a free test to see where you hold room to grow. I regularly take the advice that I preach and blog about, so I took the opportunity of answering every test first to show that I am very comfortable knowing where I am and where I need to grow. The following are my answers.
FYI, you do need to provide a valid email address to be able to exercise the assessment. But no commitment of any sort is required, and you are free to unsubscribe from TalkSpace after the evaluation. Although, I strongly suggest otherwise.
MY ASSESSMENT SCORES
(in respective order)
These evaluations are very personal and pertinent information. Please both respect and appreciate that I am sharing it willingly to help those understand, appreciate and resonate with the severity of testing your room for growth. The only one who truly benefits from therapy is you.
So How Did You Do?
Isn't it great to be honest with yourself and work on yourself rather than focusing on others and their issues? You will be a much happier camper if you center your well-being and growth. You will deepen your understanding, empathy, tolerance, patience, and who knows, you may even see yourself sharing a perspective that previously crawled under your skin. Give others the benefits of the doubt, but more importantly, give yourself the benefit of the doubt and learn to give yourself affirmations. Forgive yourself. You can help yourself grow by seeking the guidance of a professional therapist.
Happily Seeing a Therapist,
ANEELA K.
My Weekly Therapy!
When I began therapy years ago, I fully acknowledged that I did not believe I needed it; I stand corrected. I did. I changed and grew in the past years. My therapist affirmed my growth and is proud of me. It is not to say I don't have room for more growth. Don't we all.
I look forward to my continued new versions of betterment.
Please don't do it for anyone else other than yourself. You owe that to yourself.
