Drive Out
Of Your Comfort Zone
“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.
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Your current safe boundaries were once unknown frontiers. Fear of the unknown is natural. For some, it's more complex than others. We are all ordinary men; courage means one held braver five minutes longer. To get somewhere different, you must often do something unconventional, new to your surroundings. It may be terrifying for your evaluated reasons, and it may be a risk you are willing to take. Usually, a decision takes less than a femtosecond; our fear breeds indecisiveness that affects all decisions to linger on for hours, days, months, or even years.
Once we surpass the ideology of future adverse predicaments, we are less likely to permit fear to block us from unimaginable growth and new experiences, which otherwise we would not have allowed ourselves.
If you replicate the same story, same life as preceding generations, same everything, you are breathing a concise, safe, predictable life. If you, for a second thought to expand your horizons and acclimate to new beginnings, you would view courage as the most competent undertaking experience of a lifetime.
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.”
A Big Decision For You Could Be A Small Decision For Someone Else
Remember that the current predicament may be a tough deliberation for you, yet it's a no-brainer for another. If we look deeper into this, we must admit that we cannot know it all, which is more than okay. However, we should not turn our neck from researching why others are not as apprehensive. Curiosity may support and deliver confidence in your decision. Consider it as inspiration. 'If they can do it, so can I.'
A LITTLE SHARE
I want to share a challenging decision I recently made; however, I am happy I progressed out of my comfort zone and did it. My middle daughter Aliyah (12 years of age) is currently at a two-week Jewish Summer Sleep Away Culinary Camp. As some of you are reading this, I am confident that questions and concerns may be darting into your head. Or maybe not (for those who consider this normal.)
It all originated two years ago when we went to a culinary workshop from this camp where the kids learned to make pasta from scratch. It was fun observing them learn new skills. I picked up the brochure and begot a sticker shock. I thought to myself, 'wow people can actually afford this?' I felt a bit ashamed, said our thanks, and drove away, reasoning we couldn't possibly be that lucky.
So much was running through my mind. Affordability, Jewish camp, sleep away, far from home, could Aliyah even handle it emotionally or mentally?
These thoughts kept circling and were mind-boggling. And one day, I understood this shit is all in my head because of the way I grew up, my family, other Muslim families, and all the stuff I hear from outdated generations. I actualized then that while I could not provide this experience for myself or my eldest, I will do everything it takes to make it happen for Aliyah. And that was it for me.
Affordability
Regarding affordability, I began saving up a year in advance. Once you prioritize, anything is possible. Yes, it sounds crazy, except where there is a will, there is a way. Every penny was worth it.
Jewish Camp
Regarding a Muslim going to a Jewish camp, yes, I know people have made comments. I think that all religions should acclimate with each other even more and learn each other's values. Especially with all that is going on back home between Muslims and Jews, why not establish a precedent that we can combine and compose something beautiful out of it. I believe Jewish culture equally upholds exceptional values and determination, and I could not have chosen a more suitable camp for my Muslim daughter. I know with this will come certain complications like wearing a Burkina rather than a Bikini, and some kids may make fun of her, yet that was another risk I was willing to take. I cannot hide my child from who she is and what her beliefs are. She must be herself, wear it proudly, and know that any comments made towards her are ignorant. I also prepped her beforehand that some things may be different; only different is good. It is all a learning experience. Surrounding your child with the same religion and culture all their life will not assist in creating an open-minded child. The differences will broaden her horizons and inspire her to become a well-rounded individual.
Sleep-Away
I am not going to fabricate a story for my blog. As always, I write raw. The sleep-away camp was by far my greatest fear. I was sending a young, innocent girl away to a sleep-away camp far from home when I hadn't even permitted a sleepover with any of her friends. As Muslims, we were taught and led to believe not to let our daughters be unsupervised or enable a sleepover to another friend's home to evade any cases of sexual harassment. And this was what was passed down to me for years from my elders.
Can I say WTF? This whole ideology is a small mentality study. By putting so many constraints on a child, you are projecting your fears and instilling fear within the child. You may also raise children who can become downright rebellious because you did not trust them or that they may not trust their surroundings. I hold no shame in letting you know as I did in my previous blog; I was unfortunately sexually harassed. I never slept at anyone else's home. So that defails the idea that it can only happen far from home. This tragedy can happen anywhere, anytime. And the proper procedure to seek therapy for a child. However, many Muslims are troubled about the family shame that they tell the child to keep it quiet. WTF! I can’t change the past but I most definitely grow by accepting reality and moving on.
If we halt our children from living life for risks that may never happen, that is unfair to our children and their children. Someone has to be the one to transform the mentality down the generation perspective. Many of my friends who did not sleep over anywhere also were harassed. Maybe not as serious I was, yet still. Consequently, I recognized I would correct this and send Aliyah. This fear has nothing to do with the camp itself. It's just a provisional measure I decided to take. I mentally prepared myself that if anything were to happen, I would follow appropriate guidelines and procedures to assist my child in regaining her emotional and mental well-being by seeking help from a professional therapist.
I am glad I overcame this fear, especially coming from someone who was molested. This deliberation was a colossal overcoming. And I am so proud of myself and Aliyah. And besides, I am confident I was overthinking it because I was raised by old society studying (and through my past). I am convinced she is more than safe and in good hands. I could not be happier.
Culinary
Aliyah apprehended the kitchen and any kitchen skills. Using a knife, turning on the stove, mixing ingredients was overwhelming. Sometimes as a parent, it's not easy to train a young teen. If you place your child in an environment created for securing the skills fun to learn, it is far easier on the child, and not only does it augment their skills, it also makes it a fun experience. I can't wait to see what she cooks up when she arrives home. She repeatedly asked when we can play chopped at home? I heard they did play chopped at the camp. I can't wait to hear about all her experiences.
Growth
If you baby your child, they will always expect to be pampered by others, which could significantly weigh heavily on an unhealthy long-term partnership. As parents, we should help foster independence and raise children who do not fear the unknown. So tomorrow, they can be comfortable taking educated risks to implement their ambitions. These new experiences will aid in learning to acknowledge new feelings. I love that we are venturing out of old generational habits. I know this will further shape Aliyah into who she will be when she is all grown up. I am happy I followed my heart and not the naysayers. Jewish Sleep-away Culinary Camp was the best growth gift I can ever offer my child, and I will do it again and again.
What will you change? It can be for you or your child. Stop living in old fears; life is changing, be comfortable, and change with it. Take baby steps if you must, but don't confine your children to your old thoughts. Let them become the best versions of themselves. Life has much to offer; a golden opportunity is only a new thought away.
Courage faces fear and thereby masters it. - — Martin Luther King, Jr.
Reaching New Horizons,
