F.R.I.E.N.D.S
Loneliness is a Disease
“A friend is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.
”
F.R.I.E.N.D.S, an iconic series that acquired the heart of countless viewers globally. And why wouldn't it? It held entertainment, affection, comfort, times of sorrow, the closeness between dependable friends, and all relatable matters people experience daily.
Friends premiered in September of 1994, at the time I was 16. Teenage years are crucial where we understand ourselves, or maybe we don't. Adolescent years are where we begin to stress about friends, being popular, who is our 'Best Friend,' or whom can we rely on? Real friendship isn't understood till much later on in life when you dealt with authentic struggles together.
I recall feeling incredibly alone during these years. Ergo this series and the unique bond portrayed between these six characters felt ideal. I yearned for this relationship ever so badly. I would watch the episodes welcoming great happiness as it would satisfy my void of loneliness. I would wish upon a dream that I would one day gain friends who would do anything for me without asking and asking. I developed considerable animosity for the asking. I don't ask now. If I hear no once, that's it!
Being raised in a Muslim hold hod where a female can't hold male friends or can't be bold; this sitcom was a fantasy for me. Seldom I felt as though I resonated with Rachel (I'm positive being a blonde for twenty years had something to do with it ;p), and other times I believed as though I resonated with Monica or even Ross. And I am sure several others resonated with characters. It showed moments of healing sadness, a lending hand, stupid humor. Just as Minecraft Streaming is now significant for generation Z, I believe 'F.R.I.E.’N.D.S' was a generation X pillar.
Unconditional Friends Through the Test of Time
Who wouldn’t want this?
Twenty-six years later, and I am furthermore captivated by the series. I was intrigued to write about F.R.I.E.N.D.S because wherein 'Fall Season" and leaves rustling on the ground gives a very warm fuzzy feeling, strongly reminding me of my all-time favorite episode, 'The One with the Football.'
For some reason, I am obsessed with this episode. Six friends in relaxed clothing playing a sport and acting funny. The episode takes place on Thanksgiving Day. Friends spending this special day together as a family of their own. Playing, acting goofy, accepting one another for who they are at the end. The moment felt real; in the present moment feeling. It touches my heart at such a deep level that it's difficult to depict the precise emotion. For all the people chasing the more adult things in life, I appreciate these small moments, where you smile, laugh, melt with, act silly with your friends creating unique memories that will forever warm your heart and soul. Nothing tangible has ever made me feel remotely close to the modest act of a genuine and sincere friend. When was the last time you hung out with a gathering of friends that you know would do anything for you? I am 100% that kind of friend, can you say the same? It's never too late to change. Is there someone out there who craves your love and support? Call them and ask them how they are feeling today? EVERYDAY I text my most intimate friends, "How are you feeling today?"
Watch this short clip. You have to be a fan to understand the humor.
As Thanksgiving is around the corner, this warm fuzzy feeling came again. But this time, I am not lonely. I am not wondering who will be there for me. I am not yearning for this friendship any longer. I now have the most wondrous friends. I feel content with life. Truly and utterly blessed. It took me a prolonged time to make good friends. And when I say good, I am referring to 'diamond in the ruff' kind.
I want to emphasize that we should be grateful for all the people in our lives. However, I do believe a tremendous thanks should go to our 'Friends.'
If you are following my blogs, you know kids tyrannized me throughout high school, so I made no real friends there. I made genuine friends in college and some colleagues (lifelong friends here). Next, I moved to Chicago, and it seemed like I was back in high school again. Much of it was very 'clicky,' very much status-oriented, carrying great expectations but not willing to perform their end, or eviler, every act was a favor to be returned. —False accusations made to climb up the ladder of friendship. There was no room for simplicity. It was all 'who can give me what I need?' The few I liked 'mistook me as needy or clingy' my guess is these people never lost a true loved one, so they can't recognize true love even if it is staring at them in the face. In my seven years there, only a handful were real gems.
As life went on, I was convinced 'Forever Friends' was not possible. However, I stand corrected. I learned the hard way that true friendship takes time to ripen. It is not 'we clicked.' But moreover, 'we lived.'
It's more like impossible just takes more time to be possible. -(Marcin)
One of the oldest diseases that go back eons is loneliness. Loneliness can sneak up on you discreetly or in drastic measures through tragedy. Either way, loneliness is very traumatic, and there are a million and one versions of it.
Take this pandemic, for example, all the outgoing social butterflies, extroverts, knew this would be troublesome for them. Extroverts are commonly leaders and exercise actions. As an extrovert, I can relate and say we stayed in touch with friends through texts, calls, video calls, social media, and even SD hello drive by's.
However, what about the introverts or the shy and timid. For all the people who say they hate people and considered this mitigation a blessing, have you noticed they struggled even more than the extroverts? Why is that? That's because extroverts compensated for where they had to. Introverts now had even less intercommunication by missing their mandatory social obligations and not conversing with, seeing , or hearing anyone else. Having no friend as an outlet is a remarkably dangerous aspect that can fuck with your mind. You tend to grow anger, become cranky, frustrated, procrastinate, and hold zero interest in doing any activity. Your loneliness has now sadly converted to depression. Which instigates irrational behaviors. Be sure to have at least one friend you can be completely open with.
Remember, your family can be your friends or friends who can be your family. Either way, everyone needs someone or some more.
If you know someone lonely, reach out and offer your friendship. It doesn't need to be a close relationship, but a small gesture for you could save a life for someone else.
My personality is exceptionally versatile; ergo, I maintain incredibly outgoing friends, intensely spiritual, very blunt, introverts, conservative, religious, fashionistas, old souls, young adults, and even socially awkward friends.
People ask me how do I accept so many different kinds of people? I guess it's because I grew up in a diversified town and kept moving around engaging with other people. Also, I waited so long for real friends that I recognize a genuine relationship, which holds a more eminent priority than judging their personality. Appreciate the love, don't mock the person. Keeping in mind, we all want to feel wanted.
A friend once asked me why I was friends with a socially awkward woman. "Why do you keep inviting her? She tells you the same story over and over for the 200th time. Don't you find it annoying?" I replied, "she has no friends, but she has a good heart. It doesn't bother me. I act like I hear the story for the very first time each time."
I interviewed a few friends of mine, asking them the following two questions:
What does 'friendship' mean to you?
What does 'My Friendship' mean TO you?
Here are their responses:
What does friendship means to me: someone you can be vulnerable with, someone who can tell me the hard truth no matter how brutal it might make me feel. Friendship is good times and bad times. It also sees each other when we’re at our worst. Someone you can trust, show your real self to with no expectations, and no judging.
Aneela,
You’re loving; I like it when you come to me and share your thoughts and feelings because you know I won’t judge you. I cherish our friendship because no matter how much I see you, I miss you always when I leave you.
When I’m with you, I don’t feel like I don’t belong; I feel like I’m one of you. I like it when I’m around you. Your highly motivational spirit influences me to be the same. Your friendship with me, in a word, is exceptional. I love how you make me see the beauty and the way you make me feel comfortable when I’m around you. We endure each other’s flaws.
“I’ve found this new disease, it’s called LOVE- I know it is contagious because you gave it to me.”
-R.V.
Friendship, for me, is a combination of loyalty, love, respect, and trust. A true friend is someone that you can truly count on in life. A friend will always be your safety net and look out for your best interests in a time of crisis. A friend is someone you can trust never to hurt you. A friendship is strong and durable and will stand the test of time. A friend knows you more than you know yourself. It is a person you can share your innermost thoughts, dreams, and disappointments with and never feel berated or judged. A true friend is a haven. Someone who will love you just as much when the chips are down. Who isn't envious and only wishes and prays for the utmost best for you. Someone who will hold your hand through life's ups and downs. A person that finds a true friend has found a rare, priceless treasure.
"A friend is a single soul dwelling in two bodies."
-Aristotle
"If you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything."
-Muhammad Ali
"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy and art, friendship has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival."
-C. S. Lewis
Aneela,
Your Friendship is like finding a needle in a haystack. That is the only way to describe the likelihood of finding a kindred spirit that wants to give love, cherishes you, cherishes your loved ones, is there for you, and selflessly prays for your happiness and success. Knowing that you exist makes the world a better place. It makes me feel safe to know that you are only steps away. Even though we met later in life, our connection is strong, and it feels like I've always had you. Even though we don't speak every day, our bond never goes away. You are someone special in my life. Who truly cares. If I mention that I'm tired, you bring me a vitamin right away! If I say that I have a cold, you run over with homemade soup! If I mention that the kids need something, you run out to Target at 10 pm! That is a true friend—someone to count on in life. You genuinely give so much love without expecting anything in return. Your Friendship means more than words can express!
-J.B.
A true friend is a chosen family. It’s someone you can confide in and open up to without feeling judged, and having compassion reciprocated.
Friendship with Aneela is effortless and picks up where it left off every time. Speaking of compassion, she is the definition of that. Her company is unconditional, and all in, and anyone lucky enough to be in her inner circle finds it difficult not to return the sentiment.
-A.G
Friendship = Kindness
-when you can sit in silence with your friend and feel content.
When you share your most profound sadness, regrets, or secrets, you will not fear judgment instead of receiving support.
-when sharing your highs, your friend will be proud and happy for your achievements
-when sharing your lows, your friend will be empathetic and considerate going forward.
Aneela's Friendship to me, she goes far and beyond, no matter how full her plate of responsibilities may be. She focuses on the treasure of a person. Always ready to help or pray for her people, may it be a friend of a day or a friend for years. She is continually striving to be her better self.
-A.G.D.
Friendship, for me, is a relationship without any personal interest. It's one of the only relationships not imposed on you, or not tied to it, or you are not born with it, which keeps friendship pure.
Aneela,
Your sincerity in friendship means a lot. You keep in touch with me and it means a lot. You praying for a friend without telling them or without asking anything in return. It means a lot.
-A.R.
Friendship is an essential aspect of my life. Without it, life seems so bare and lifeless.
Aneela and I met about 12 years ago and have only gotten closer as time passed. Although we are very different from each other, we understand and respect each other's views and ways of life. She took me outside of my comfort zone at times, and maybe I've done the same with her; it's a friendship I would cherish and hope to continue as we get old and wrinkly.
-S.A.
Friendship means having someone you can trust with your feelings, someone who will be your champion, and someone who will listen to your thoughts even if they aren't well-formed yet.
Friendship with you means someone who believes in me, someone who has no idea where I am coming from and can give me a different perspective. Friendship with you means fun and unpredictable.
-C.S.
Friendship, to me, is an organic connection that can not be forced. It is a mutual relationship of respect and support for similarities and differences between individuals. A relationship of shared values. A strong support system during the good and the bad times. It also allows you the freedom to grow as an individual and become a better version of yourself.
For as long as I have known Aneela, she has and is always concerned about lifting people and helping them reach their full potential. She is a genuine people person. Even during a Pandemic this modern-day, Supergirl finds the time in her hectic schedule to send someone a surprise gift, make them smile, and let them know she is there. My inspirational friend can only make such an effort and a beautiful gesture! Friendship with Aneela K is about having the courage to live your truth. Being comfortable and confident about who you are. She is an example of being fearless. She is a source of inspiration and empowerment. She builds you up and makes you believe in yourself because she believes in herself. I know I am lucky to call her friend and know everyone who comes in contact with this powerhouse is blessed as well. More power to you, Aneela! Continue to empower and inspire!
-G.T. (to the left)
A friend is someone you choose to be your mentor with whom you can share anything and everything. Someone who won't just stand next to you in your rough times but also willingly face it with you.
Aneela,
You did things for me without expecting anything in return. You came to my wedding all the way to Pakistan, and we both know what you had to deal with to make it happen. While my other friends made lame excuses; you made it happen. Although knowing the fact your husband wouldn't allow it easily.
-R.S.
My hypothesis is if more than one feels the same way about you, it's must be true.
Look what I found…
What a coincidence, I found this beautiful ornament, of my favorite sitcom the same week I started this blog!! Isn’t that insane? It’s like the universe knows what I am thinking or that I was meant to deliver this message about how our friends make our lives more valuable.
Maybe this sitcom played an influential role in my upbringing and the true meaning of friendship? Maybe I was just born with it? Either way, if you have good friends out there today, go thank them, be there for them. It is not about expectations; but rather it’s about being kind first. Empathy will always take the win. If you are true to yourself and you found friends like mine mentioned in this blog (God bless I have many more, but you be would reading for hours ;p), consider yourself a, ‘WNNER’! The best award in life is the reward of true friendship!
The attention we provide someone could be the highlight of their day. We can't cure loneliness in the entire world, but I wager if you started with one person and planted the seed, they would surely pay it forward, and soon the world would heal with all the genuine love spreading around.
Your Friend,
Aneela K.
I absolutely love the lyrics to the opening theme song. Check it out and see who comes to mind when you hear the influential words.
Thank You F.R.I.E.N.D.S
You inspired me to become a mixed version of each of you. Today I say it proudly with sheer joy, I found the worlds greatest F.R.I.E.N.D.S
Heartily,
Aneela K.
Update - JUST Minutes after releasing this FRIENDSHIP BLOG; I received random text message with me receiving the Knights Of Pythias Award in 1996. I didn't recall this as it was so many years ago. Lo and behold when I searched the relevance, it showed symbolism of LOYALTY, TRUST in a TRUE FRIENDSHIP!!! - I can’t believe this, what are the odds. I am constantly receiving signs of delivering inspiration to you all! (posted blog at 12:30, received text at 12:35)
