Let Your Outside In
And Your Inside Out
Put your foot down and stand your ground where it matters more for your health. Say ‘NO’ and stay confident and firm to ensure a healthy state of mind.
A Mental State VS a Mental Choice
Fact:
Dissociative identity disorder (DID), previously known as multiple personality disorder(MPD), is a mental disorder characterized by the maintenance of at least two distinct and relatively enduring personality states.
Fact:
Judgement identity disorder, 99% of all beings characterized by the maintenance of at least two distinct and relatively opposite personality CHOICES.
Understanding the difference between 'Inside' & 'Outside' voice.
What is an inside voice?
indoor voice - Wiktionary
indoor voice (plural indoor voices)
outdoor voice - Wiktionary
outdoor voice (plural outdoor voices)
There is a clear distinction between an 'inside' voice and an 'outside' voice. One is calm and collective; the other an assertion. Additionally, there is a seemingly large and ever-increasing distinction between our 'inside' personality and our 'outside' personality. Again one is excited, dynamic, full of laughter, and smiles. The other is depletion, complaining, resentment, criticizing, and expressing with an unloving temper.
Why is it that when we are outside (or even online), whether it be around friends, associates, or the public whom we do not even know, we are on our most desirable behavior (sometimes a deception, a facade, an impression, or the best version of ourselves,) to attain their approval of who we are? Or worse to conceal who we are inside our home (comfort zone.) We wear our best clothes (ironed), style our hair, add accessories, and most importantly, walk out with a smile, ready to spring our day. We lavish our friends with a generous smile or a hug. We embrace our coworkers with an inside voice, "Hello." We are notably cognizant of every movement, spoken word, voice pitch, or even facial expressions. To sum it up, we feel fantastic and present positive vibes passing great energy (even if inside, we feel negative.) Is this the right thing to do?
Nevertheless, what happens when you get home? Where did that grin go? Why are you immediately drained and okay to say, "No I don't want to this right now I'm exhausted from a longspun day at work, or traffic or I just don't feel like it." Why do you feel irritable? What if you had run straight to dinner with your friends? Would you be in a more enjoyable mood? Why do you imagine that is? Why can't you assume the same mood around your loved ones at home?
Why not? Now ask yourself why you are different outside and inside at home? If you say because you feel comfortable at home and finally get to unwind and be lazy, while on the exterior, all this may be true, on the inside, it boils down to your inner voice assuring you that you can now behave differently. The bodies you live with should be your number one priority: a spouse, a sibling, a parent, or even a roomie.
People convey out all their anger on loved ones. It's not even their wrongdoing. Why are we engaging them as a scapegoat? How do you feel when it happens to you? Do you consider the reason why it happened to you? Or is it that the judgment is irrelevant, and you are undeserving of this hostility regardless. How can we hinder this cycle?
Why do we shout at our kids? Why do we vocalize in an uninterested or dismayed manner to our family members? Why do we so often get into arguments? Or build resentment. Why are we so keen on playing the blame game? Understand yourself and examine yourself; what are you doing?
Would you use the equivalent tone or verbiage with your Boss or colleague? Even a friend whom you respect like your own? NO! The answer is NO; you would NOT!
Now let's take a look at scenarios. Let's say you didn't receive that promotion you were anticipating. Or your friend stood you up or canceled on you last minute. Will you get agitated and scream at them or condemn them? Will you dispense resentment to your Boss? Or will you be more perceptive and say, "I understand"? Why do we affirm the nonsense from outside people and shit on our loving inside people? We all know our reactions subdue to our judgemental environment.
Let's dig deeper if you are exhausted, and you don't feel like doing a favor for a family member in your house, you will most possibly say, "I don't want to right now." So why can't you say this to your friends or your colleague or someone in public who is asking for more than you can handle? Why do you surpass your boundaries or limitations? Why do you take on more than you can handle? Isn't your schedule already involved? Your plate is full, yet you don't say no to people outside of your home to attain their friendship. Moreover, because you desire their approval or because you feel guilty, ergo, you will continue to enable them. Does this sound like someone you want to continue being?
Yet undeniably, you are familiar with your boundaries at home?
The PROBLEM here is we are looking at this ALL from the wrong angle.
We should recognize our boundaries outside of our capabilities. Regardless if it is someone you live with or someone in your life at work, school, a club, or any relationship you carry with that person. Be tougher when you are outside. Stand your ground. Practice to say no or to vocalize your true feelings without equivocation. As long as you state it politely, the rest is not your weight to carry. So don't!
ALL THESE ACTIONS are a DIRECT CHOICE of YOUR INNER voice! You listen to the corresponding voice when you are outside your comfort zone and behave entirely differently in an opposing manner. More amiable, per se.
Almost as if you were an altogether another person with a distinct personality trait! But you do not have a mental disorder? You have a mental choice disorder. Are you willing to change that to better your environment and not punish the people who care for you daily?
You should be just as kind to the people you live with. Remember, they too possess a heart and feelings. Just the same as the ones you care for when you step one foot out of your home. So why do we handle family differently? Be more congenial at home.
Often at times, I remind myself when speaking with my spouse or children, that if I was at this very moment talking to my favorite friend, how might my tone be? What content would I choose? How might my enthusiasm be? How is my body language and my facial expression. All these things encompassing is what you present as a perception to other bodies. This technique has been a total success. each and every time. I return I receive a smile, a chuckle or more generally speaking a joyous environment at home.
Recognize yourself—your true self. Be the same inside-out and outside-in.
Do you feel taken advantage of? Are you letting others take advantage of you? Because the choice is yours. When you are outside, be stronger for yourself against those who can surely replace you. You oughtn't to do something you don't prefer to do. Or if you don't possess time to do. IT'S OKAY to SAY NO! Just as you would have if you were at home. I can assure you that if you place the identical boundaries, you use inside your home and use it outside, you will be less stressed.
And I equally ensure if you are less harsh on those you live with and give them the equal importance, attention, smiles, laughter, love, and empathy that you give outsiders, you will possess a much more enjoyable and peaceful haven you call home. If you function more positively with your family at home, you will sense inner peace. And appear much happier overall. The people around you then will additionally feel more content. Our Inner voice jumbles our inside voice/personality and our outside voice/personality. Be more loving to those you know will continuously be there for you. Forgive, hug, acknowledge, and listen to them more. Put in the same effort for them that you put in for others outside of your home. Guaranteed your family is more deserving of it.
How well do you know your Boss, colleague, teacher, friend, doctor, etc.? How many of them act precisely the same behind closed doors? You will nevermore know until you live with them. People are habitually conscious of their surroundings; although that sounds like a healthy thing, it's been detrimental for many. If it's not who they naturally are, it's purely exhausting to people please all day. Just be yourself. Then your relationships are based on sincerity and genuine admiration. They will love you for your perfections and imperfections.
Keep in mind since social media and other sources shape the world to gain likes online or in person, those who do not care to put on a facade, or have no filter, sadly, are the ones that get the lousy apple—Bad Apples for being Authentic, for being Sincere, and PURE. But I highly recommend you stay pleasant and be faithful to your nature. In the end, it will only do you excellence. Your patience and perseverance will steer you further than you ever perceived.
I met only a handful of genuinely loving souls whom they say they are in all my years. Who has ONE GENUINE PERSONALITY? It sounds like it's an effortless thing to possess, though it's not. Many get warped into impressing others; we neglect who we are or, worse, how we aspire to grow.
Try chatting to a pure soul, and you will see the obstacles they face in their daily life in a world full of people seeking to make beneficial connections yet disregarding that the most substantial connection is of kindred pure loving souls.
I would like you to meet A few,
Alexander
Alexander
I want to introduce to you a young soul with a heart of gold. At such a young age, he values his true self. He recognizes that you don't have to be a pushover or profess to be someone you are not. He acknowledges that love, kindness, and empathy are the most meaningful assets of life. This little munchkin has more wisdom, perspicacity, and purity in him than I observed in many grown-ups put together.
After spending a day together having breakfast, ceramic painting, hiking, delivering pumpkins, outdoor play, and shopping for toys, on his drive home, I asked this handsome young boy, "What was your favorite part of the day?"
Alexander: "Spending time with you guys."
And that folks are a soul that recognizes the actual value of life!
He's only six years old. Let that sink in for a minute.
Chanda & melissa
Chanda & Melissa I met at StonyBrook University. We were roommates. Ergo yes we lived with one another for a long time and know each other’s personality down to pinpoint. I vouch for my life when I tell you these two young girls grew up to be the exact same young adults. They speak to everyone around them the same. They stay true to who they are. They carry firm beliefs and do not change them to be pleased be others to meet anyone’s approval. What you see is what you get. No IF’s or BUT’s about it!! They are two beautiful women inside out and outside in all the same. ONE GENUINE PERSONALITY. The best of all kinds is, One of a kind.
Stop living two lives. Just be yourself. No need to fake. No need to try hard. Just stand your ground the same wherever life takes you.
OWN THE ONE AND ONLY YOU!!
One of a Kind,