Misery creates Misery
Misery Needs Discipline
“Some people are so broken, they get mad at you for being whole”
Unhappy people throw the most shade. It’s true. They cannot fathom the innate ability of those around them that find joy from the most minute of happenings to even significant celebrations. It brings about internal frustration that surpasses the vicarious pleasure and immediately emanates emotional turmoil for those around them who are content. This turmoil comes in many shades, such as anger, jealousy, insensitive remarks, or even worse, a ‘killjoy’ for the happy individual. Unhappy people thrive on negativity and are entirely misguided and blinded by a false reality created from past experiences, resentment, and inability to rise from a fall.
As sad as we feel for such individuals, empathy can only help to a certain degree, after which it is really up to the individual who is feeling miserable to try harder. Bad habits are easy, and so are evil thoughts. Positive practices and beliefs require much more. They require discipline.
Misery creates misery, but in actuality, misery needs discipline. Misery can not be eradicated by empathy, love, and hugs. These tried and tested variations assist in short-term relief. In the long run, the suffering individual needs discipline.
“Whoever is trying to bring you down, is already below you.”
THINK BIG PICTURE BY USING DISCIPLINE
Without discipline, we encounter many notorious individuals who bring us down. Such beings attain power over you by making remarks that will hurt your feelings and create unnecessary drama because they do not have a life of their own that they know how to enjoy. And because they cannot find joy in their own life, they can not stand the joy of others, so they resent or vice versa; they resent others who enjoy their life.
The ideology is the same as starting a new diet or working out. The world has influenced us that we need the motivation to go on a diet or workout. That is entirely wrong; motivation is handicapped without discipline. Discipline is vital in many positive outcomes. And that is because you may or may not hold motivated on certain days, and then you will not do what you initially wanted to do to reach your goal. Though if you maintain discipline, you will do it regardless, even on the days you do not feel motivated.
Success doesn't come from the days you are motivated; it comes from the days you are not but still hold the discipline to do it.
“Relationships based on obligation lack dignity.”
Misery in Relationships
Are you in it because you have to be or want to be? Check yourself and then ask yourself again and thrice. Doing something for someone because you believe you ought to and not because you want will drive you crazy in bitterness, and it will be portrayed as such no matter how well you deliver the act of kindness. If it is not genuine or out of love, it will always grow a greater distance within the relationship.
I rarely do things for people thinking about obligations. I do it based on love and a natural desire to see them happy. When you do something for others, it should bring you joy as well. Then you know it's a healthy action. If you do something the whole time and think, why am I doing this? What is the point? Only remorse and misery will result from doing the act. It would be best to learn to stop doing things that do not bring you joy. No matter how the other party in the relationship feels about it. They will likely lash out, blame you, play victim, try to hurt you with insensitive comments or acts, or manipulate you. You must stand firm and listen to your soul. If you do not feel comfortable, do not do it.
Learn to take accountability. Doing something out of obligation will slowly start tearing you up and grow animosity for the other party. If you have done it for several years, the other person in the relationship has been enabled or acclimated to your kindness. Stopping or taking it away will make them react negatively towards you. It would help if you dealt with it until they understand they cannot force you to be a certain way.
True happiness comes from kindness and affection. Alas, miserable people lack kindness and respect towards the individuals that need it most. If it is not a natural desire, it will never feel right. Hence it causes complications, and you feel your dignity is questioned.
Once again, unhappy people do things out of obligation and not out of love. That's why so many concerns arise. Misery creates misery but what it needs is discipline. Practicing discipline in your thoughts, words, and actions will play a significant role in not passing the misery down to the ones you love.
“Anger repressed can poison a relationship as surely as the cruelest words.”
“Don’t let someone’s bitterness kill your spirit. Happiness is not a crime. So never feel guilty for showing it. Let your light shine today and don’t worry about who it makes uncomfortable.”
No matter what crap I have been through
The lack of parents in my life, Mom died at age thirty-three, and I was ten.
Severe bullying in school and from family. (to find out more, check out my blog on 'Bullying')
Several cases of sexual harassment. (for more, check out my blog on 'It's not your fault)
Toxic friends and family members are attacking me for no reason. It hurt so much that I thought there was something wrong with me. It was my grit they could not stand.
Autoimmune disorder - a tough eighteen months of doctor appointments that did nothing for me until I fixed myself.
Full Menopause at age Thirty-nine. This was a massive shock for me. Menopause is life-changing in many ways, but I still held physically and emotionally strong. I promised myself not to let it take my life over me so young. I deserve to be happy.
Marital Concerns (we've all been there. well, hopefully not all). It's one hell of a ride if you don't know the person well enough before getting married or you marry someone not of your ideal. Some days are great; other not so much.
And my severe chronic pain in the year 2021. This pain I never wish upon anyone. Oh, how I feared it, I have no clue—one breath at a time. God, just thinking about it gives me chills. Hundred of appointments all alone that gave me nothing except more tears. Once again, I put my foot down and decided to take care of it. This requires bravery and discipline to keep yourself positive and bring about positive change.
I am confident there is much more that I choose not to reflect on. Though still, you will see me smiling, taking care of myself and my family, and celebrating the lives of others and mine. No matter how much I fall, I always rise back up because deep within, I know I carry the strength and discipline to remain happy and smile through all the fucken weird-ass shit and drama life throws me. And I promise you this, no matter what my situation, no one can thieve that inner strength and grit from me. Because if losing my mom to cancer at age ten didn't break me, nothing else will!
I love God; he is the inner strength that gives me the discipline to get up each day and continue smiling no matter what happens. I share my raw truth and pain not to embarrass myself ( I am not ashamed. I am REAL. I will never be fake or pretend. If God sees my truth, why must I hide it from his children?
In either scenario, discipline is necessary for the one stirring up the misery and for the one feeling like a target of torture. You've got to work to achieve better thoughts and change your miserable perception to a more positive one. Use discipline consistently in daily practice to make it happen.
Repetitive complaining will attract things to complain about. Repeated gratitude will attract things to be grateful for. I urge you to take care of yourself so you don't end up hurting those around you who sincerely or once loved you. Wake up before it's too late, and you grow old in regret for not seeing it sooner - happiness is a smile away.
Practicing Discipline Daily,
