It’s Not Only a Cat that has Nine Lives

“Our life contains a thousand springs,
And dies if one be gone.
Strange! That a harp of thousand strings
Should keep in tune so long.”

— Isaac Newton

We are born with the instinct knowledge of sucking for survival; from there, we adapt to the environment and attend to our body's needs. At this point, we carry thousands of diverse pathways that could result in thousands of different outcomes of whom we become through our experiences or, more specifically, nature versus nurture.

There is no one proper way or incorrect way; there are infinite variations of whom we become through decisions constructed for us, decisions we made based on what we thought we were at the time, decisions beyond our control, spontaneous decisions, and some well thought out thoroughly and strategically planned decisions.

In either scenario, each of us harbors an inner child. Some connect with their inner child (highly recommended. Please refer to my blog, Befriend and Connect with Your Inner Child,) and others run away or eradicate all existence. Regardless we keep growing and moving forward. There is an adolescent version of us, teenage, college, bachelor, young adult, risky, adventurous, married, maybe a divorced version, parental, career, a goal-oriented version - I believe you catch my drift. Although we live a long life, within our life, we develop and transform copiously according to decisions; knowledge gained, new environments, and infinite changes in our lives that when we look back, it is as if we lived multiple different lives, and might I say they outnumber cats having nine lives.

We all live many lives

I'll be the first to confess that I wanted nothing to do with my childhood. I ran so far away from it that I changed my middle name (which most people knew me as when I was a child.) Since I didn't grow up with my parents and was relatively underprivileged, I didn't hold fond memories of my childhood. Most of it was reputed with bullying, injustice, and little validation of love or existence. I struggled and suffered through experiences most children don't live through. I loathed that life. I was glad to leave it behind when I left to fulfill my dream of being the first in my family to go to college. Though I received a full scholarship to Richmond University in London, circumstances led me to safety school, Stony Brook University.

Who was I here? What was it that felt like I was a new person? I gained freedom, friends, popularity, and a personality I never knew I held, which was quite intriguing. Most importantly, I had food and nourishment, which I lacked as consistency until this point. Could it be that good food and friends can develop a version of you that you didn't know existed?

Here I am in college, beginning to wear makeup, styling my hair, wearing trendy clothing, and going to nerdy classes such as Organic chemistry and Physical Chemistry. I kept questioning who I was all four years, how I got here, and where I was going. I learned how to become self-sufficient and love myself; this feeling was unexplored. I was bullied for so long that I didn't identify my love for myself. As I began fine-tuning my personality, I noticed I was competent in much more. I earned straight 4.0" s in Linear Statistics, Organic, Physical, and Biochemistry. I ended up becoming a Teaching Assistant for Organic Chemistry. Oh, it was one of my favorite years. That was on the academic side, while my interpersonal side grew just as swiftly. I could not believe it when I entered to become an RA (Resident Assistant). Was it my circumstances to save money on boarding, or was it my instinct to know I held leadership/social/creative markers in me?

It turns out I was a fantastic RA. One might say I was the head RA as I was consistently the first to be down at the office, even in a 4 AM fire drill, not to mention my hair and makeup were on point in seconds.

The meetings and social and educational events were natural for me. I couldn't imagine being anything less. These four years could not have been the same life I lived before college. It just couldn't be; I wouldn't accept it. I felt I was born again, and this life was excellent. Of course, we all hold our college stress, though comparatively, it was nothing to what I faced previously. So here I was, living life number three. First was my childhood with parents, the second was my adolescence without parents, and finally, my teens at my university. The speech at our graduation concluded with, "Right now, give it up for yourselves by raising your hands and screaming, 'I DID IT.'

Instantly I began whaling like a proud baby. Considering I did this all on my own. I held five jobs and straight A's, made excellent lifelong connections and knew my mom would be proud. All my students I was an RA for turned around and voiced, "Oh My God, look at Aneela, she's crazy crying." I knew at that very moment that it was the end of another life and the beginning of a new one. I was ready.

The coolest ra squad at stony brook university

Hands down the hottest analytical chemist you’ll ever meet ;p

Two weeks after, I was born again as an Analytical Chemist for a Pharma Firm. I wish I had known back then that these were my most fantastic years. Not to say I didn't enjoy them. Oh boy, I did, though if I knew what my next life would be, I would prolong these years. The next three years were filled with work fun, new friends, and new ventures. I lived independently, working sixty-hour weeks, socializing in the evenings, and shopping until tomorrow with zero debts. I almost forgot what it felt like to be financially burdened. My balance was constantly zero, and I purchased everything in cash. My credit score was near perfection. I grew a passion for Ice Hockey and Basketball and watching games at MSG. These adventures were all new to me. From a girl who only knew how to study, work and manage events, I was having a gay all time.

Of course, we all endure stress in life, including work stress, and at times I felt lonely and debated if I was ready for marriage. I primarily focused on work and was the only non-managerial staff invited and included in daily manager production meetings. The VP said he had never seen an employee who so easily connected all departments into a full circle. Might I even add that I was the one who completed a hydrogen peroxide deviation test copious times and was the only one to finalize repeated positive results? The outcome led John Frienda to be able to shelf its latest hair product nationwide. That's when I knew there was more to my potential.

And this is where nature verser nurture came in and drove me to take a detour I sorely regret. Rather than moving up in my career, I decided to get married and began my search for a suitable prospect. Witnessing all my friends get married, I thought maybe I was not focusing on the right goal.

After many setups I didn't pursue, I found my match online. I fell in love. I decided to leave everything behind: my job, friends, mom's grave, family, and familiarity to commence another new life in Chicago.

Left everything for my love Zishan

Oh boy. Opposites attracted, but then two worlds collided. This dancing, liberal girl went from a great job and a world of freedom to being underemployed and confronting an unanticipated wall of family dynamics and conservatism. What I thought would be an "up" turned into an uphill battle. The family and I didn't get along at all. Living together meant limited privacy and changing my lifestyle from what I truly enjoyed. I felt limited in the friendships I wanted; I didn't enjoy the conservative dress code; I had to pass on job opportunities out of consideration for other's feelings; it was frowned upon to dance at parties; the entire transition of marrying someone was also marrying their family, which was quite painful. I am sure it was for them as well. We all have our desires and wishes. I didn't meet theirs, and they certainly didn't meet mine. Circumstances didn't do me much good and ruined Chicago for me. Chicago police arrested me on a technicality regarding license plate transfer that the new family and I were unaware of. The doctor at the free hospital impaired my nerve permanently. Damn, it was like misery became my best friend. I didn't understand this life. I would not say I liked it.

I wanted out so badly. Everything was a challenge. I was the first spouse in the family, so perhaps no one understood the newness of a new family member. It would have been easier if they were more like me. I'm sure they wished I would be more like them. Though that's not how it works; we cannot change others. We must respect differences. To this day, I am saddened by the memory of naming my middle child. The pressures were damaging to my self-confidence. I prayed harder than ever to move out of Chicago. Finally, after seven long years, God fulfilled my prayer, and another great new life started.

Three lives: Became a Mother to Zara & Aliyah and the Terrible Crash Where My Life flashed before me

Before I move on to the next life, I want to quickly mention three other lives in between. Two beautiful ones were when I became a mother to my firstborn Zara and another when I became a mother to my baby Aliyah. The quality times between my daughters and myself were heavenly. Becoming a mother is similar to entering a new realm of understanding, feeling, and responsibilities. I now had two munchkins to share my love unconditionally. TWICE! I knew my mom in heaven was happy to see her daughter be a great mother.

The third life phase in Chicago was thanksgiving of 2009. Aliyah (five months old) and I were in a terrible car crash. To this day, I am not sure how we made it out alive. The car slipped on black ice, spun over a couple of times, smashed into a tree, and got stuck into the ground upside down with seatbelts locked; the car engine and the hood were full of smoke. My life flashed before my eyes. I honestly thought that was the end of us. I remember screaming, ‘ALLAHHHHHHHHH ALLAHHHHHHHH, please help!! NOOOOOOOO! If you're going to take me, then take me, but please save my child.’

We were hanging upside down an angel came and tugged us out of the car and into the ambulance. This was when I knew God kept me alive because there was more to my purpose in life. The next few weeks were a deep fluctuation between trauma and happiness that we survived. Every five minutes, I felt different emotions, ranging from rage, sadness, blessing, and shock. I felt them all.

Well, I am writing this blog thirteen years later so guess what? Guys, I am still here and, to be honest, happier than ever.

Our First Picture as a Family on the East Coast (scenic view on our way to Connecticut)

I finally found my long-lost home since mom left this world. Greenwich, Connecticut, a new, unfamiliar state, began another new life. Things began to feel normal again. Life felt merriment again. My focus was on my family and building a happy life here. I knew within a month that I was here to stay.

I started to make new friends who loved me for exactly who I was. I started working in the Beauty industry, trying to make a name for myself and ended up Fashion Runway. Life was a thrill; there was excitement, newness, freshness, parties, and smiles. I felt terrific. I loved this girl coming back out of her shell and living again. Now it was finally time to set things for a better future.

Though our marriage had some great times, it also had many rough patches from previous years where we were hanging by a thread. This is where we agreed on counseling. Initially, it was hard for both of us. Though as time passed, we realized the problem wasn't with us together; it was that we each held independent issues we brought into the marriage. So we both began working on ourselves. I confronted how much I missed my mother and finally got the bereavement I needed. I learned to let go of resentment and worked on feelings of loneliness. My husband practiced being present and advocating for his needs without anger.

The next few years were magical. Our family was having loads of fun, traveling around the world, spending quality time, and being there for each other. What I can tell you is that this woman no longer recognized the woman she was previously. I knew that was the last time I would not believe in myself. I kept my focus on what was next for me in my growth. I was growing stronger—inner strength. I became much more immune to other people's bull-crap and misery-catching drama. What is my next life?

Faaria safa changed me into a new woman and my best version yet

I can go on and on about how many lives I've lived. Though for the sake of how lengthy this blog is, I’ll save it for a future book;p Let's fast track to the last two latest lives.

Faaria Safa Ahmad - our miracle child, came happily and was born happily, and she created a happily ever after. Faaria is our truly happy child, full of love. She is a mini-me. Faaria made me feel complete. The empathy, passion, support, words, she carried it all. After Faaria was born, I was a new woman once again. I felt empowered so I started my own business. I grew my inner confidence even more. Ultimately I was head over heels in love with myself! Yes, finally, after all those loves, I was eventually in love with myself. The me who I am. Not what anyone else wanted me to be. Just me, all me. My perfections and my imperfections. The business was growing. I was growing more and more beautiful, meeting new lifelong friends again who also loved me for exactly who I was. It was perfect. I couldn't imagine it to be more than it was.

My intent is always the happiness of others, and God led me to another life for the love of all. The grand entrance, I call it. Now, this life involves me being a homeowner in a town I consider my golden nest full of people who love me and won't take longer than a second to run to help me when I am in need. The community I created here is the most prominent family I have ever had. I feel so ultimately blessed.

And now to my current life; for those of you who know, last year I suffered a major dental malpractice trauma that left me practically handicapped neck up. I left the country on a spiritual search and got all my procedures and surgeries done in Istanbul. In Istanbul I became a new woman who embodied more beauty, brains, love, friends, experiences. My friends their are like a family. My heart misses them dearly, and now I have another home away from home.

Right now, whatever number life I am living is my best. My husband, my children, my home, my career, my friends, my travel, and of course, my blogger life includes all of you readers. Thank you so much for being a part of my life and letting us grow together.

I’m not the woman I once was. Nor am I the woman I was after that; or after that one. I don’t know how many versions of me there was as I passed through what felt like new realms for me with the only consistent aspect being my desire to keep searching and moving along. This blog/story isn’t something original to just me. Each of you have your own many versions you lived and you may be living a very different life from what you knew in your earlier years and what you will live in your years to come. So this one life cliche doesn’t have to be your perspective. Live the one version you enjoy the most and if you are not there yet: trust yourself enough to that your mind, body and soul won’t give up till you live one you do love!

Through pain, we gain wisdom. I had my share of pain; oh boy, I did. Though what I gained is my best life. Who I am today is because of all the lives I lived. Some were dreadful, and others I wish never to cease. Either way, I am here now—my advice for you all.

If you are living a good a life now; enjoy it in its present moment and do not rush it. For the lives you lived previously, some were great and some not though look at what you learned and how you transformed through both disappointments and your greatest adventures. Staying stagnant isn’t a choice. Go follow your heart, it will never steer you wrong. Once you connect with your inner self it will communicate with you and lead you to your next life. You should consider yourself so lucky to know you always have a choice and never let anyone tell you otherwise.

Go live your life, and look back at all your lives that made you who you are today. Learn from them. Connect with them and grow to see how you can enter the next life phase you will live. I wish you all the happiest of lives, and may you see that even though this seems like one long life with a thousand strings on its harp, you can live as many as you like and the way you love. So go love, yourself and go live your best life yet.

So, how many lives have you lived?

Living my life over and over,

More Than NINE Lives