NO Way!
YES Way!
“Say yes more to meet the new you. Growth only happens with chances, not in your comfort zone.”
We all know what we want. We all know what we don’t want. But did you ever consider what you don’t want to be the best thing that ever happened to you?
You see, many subdivisions exist under the ‘not want’ category. Some incur from earlier traumatic memories, resentment, the sentiment of not appeasing someone, or frankly, the unknown, fear.
So what do you do? How do you distinguish which ‘NO Way’ this is? To say ‘Yes Way.’ There’s only ‘ONE WAY’ to find out.
YES or NO
Life is all about the choices we make. Yet so many of us age with regret. Do you know why? When you choose between ‘Yes or No,’ you select ‘No.’ Of course, you regret not trying it, not trying harder, not saying sorry, not giving more attention, not being there more. All your ‘No’s’ now accumulated into an enormous mountain of remorse.
Have you met people that always seem cheerful and happy? Why do you suppose that is? You may feel they live a perfect life, though that is far from the truth. No one’s life is perfect. Not even close. We all carry a pocket full of hardships. The one significant difference is that these people are risk-takers. Being a risk-taker requires you to say yes more; what pains more, that you didn’t try hard enough or that you didn’t try at all? Failure is not losing. Failure is you never tried because you didn’t believe you could. You didn’t know you had it in you.
Well, at least until you finally said, yes, I can.
We Can. Just Imagine
That's all it takes. You don't need to climb a mountain, run a track, swim a lap; you don't need to move a limb for baby steps. The first key element is to 'believe and just imagine.' Imagine you can. Thoroughly begin considering that you can from every atom in you. We were built stronger mentally than we assume we're capable of. Some whispers, negativity, and apprehensions control our minds and annihilate our acceptance capacity. We must overpower our thoughts and know that everything is achievable. Once you say yes and give it a go, the rest will continue. In the end, if it wasn't the best thing for you, your mind, body, and soul will let you know. Your instincts will transmit. It would be best if you pursued them. In retrospect, you will smile because you know that you gave it your best. Whether it worked out or not, you did all you could do or wanted.
Had you not accomplished it, a heavy burden of guilt would be sitting on your mind hypnotizing away at the other positive outlooks you hold on your bucket list. You must say 'Yes.'
SAY YES MORE
YES
YES transformed my life over and over and for the better. All the times I said 'NO,' I was suffering, living in shame, doubtful, and didn't believe in myself or my capabilities. Today I operate my own business, travel the world independently, write amazing blogs passionately, own a beautiful home in my favorite location in the world, and am a fabulous attractive mom of three gorgeous angels.
Did this come easy? Hahhahhahahaha, sorry, though I had to laugh out loud because that is not a straightforward explanation. When I contained none of this, it felt unachievable, scary beyond means; I was petrified, frantic, and at times downcast. I kept shrugging these emotions off. After years of toiling, I went through a long phase of uncertainty. That wasn't remarkably pleasant either. After this wavering phase, somewhere inside of me, something clicked, and I thought maybe I was mistaken; maybe what I assume is a 'NO,' 'No way, 'Never' is not valid.
Thank You, Anonymous Bully Email
It all triggered with an 'anonymous bully email.' This email was the foremost thing that caused me to say 'YES' to myself and my capacities. So contrary to the intention of the email, I became a new me. After floundering for years between working corporate or staying home to be with my two kids, I ultimately decided to use my makeup talent as a running trade. Ergo, I attain the flexibility of being with my children for their needs/wants and quench my thirst for contribution to the world.
The email stated, "Who do you think you are trying to prove something to the world? You should stay home and cook and clean for your good husband."
Being I had only conveyed my recent determination to three people, it wasn't rocket science to ascertain the sender of this childlike email. This email constructed me to recognize that if someone is attempting to pierce me, they must believe I hold the possibility to achieve. So I did! I was strong. I was not going to sit and snivel over an email. I decided to do it now more than ever. So I said 'YES' to going back to cosmetology school. I honed my talent but desired a certificate for business purposes. I then created a makeup site and acknowledged myself and my credentials. After I completed school, I was hired immediately by Sephora. Sephora's manager on Greenwich Ave at the time, Denise, kept pushing me down regardless of my skills. I persisted in believing in my abilities and passions. Three weeks later, yours truly indeed was orchestrating an entire event for New York Fashion Week.
What a thrilling two years and experience this was for me. I could not believe I was the same woman at home a few years back, not knowing what I wanted. As time went on, I flourished in the industry and registered my own running LLC. I love my Spa/Salon and my clients as they love me too. This is one example of me saying 'YES I can’, regardless of negativity.
THIRD CHILD
My 'Good Husband' (lol I just had to per the email right ;p ), though he is excellent; the reason being I said "yes" to matrimony, comes from a huge family. Mine, on the other, was not so much, and I felt two kids were a handful. Working in Fashion late nights, wife responsibilities, being a Mother of two, and home responsibilities were already so much that I could not fathom adding a third to the chaotic mix. I thought I finally figured out how to manage work, myself, and two kids, and I felt comfortable. I was terrified of more physical, mental, and financial responsibilities. And to be quite honest, for those of you who read my bullying blog, I frankly was traumatized that I could not bear the thought of reliving such an incident after my second pregnancy. So for five years, my husband and I would hold heavy debates over child number three. (It's still painful as I write about this experience; my upper back and shoulders became so tense. Truly one of the worst years I lived.) One night as I lay in bed, I had an epiphany. I thought to myself, 'Hmm, I know what I want, and I know what I don't want. But I also know that I want certain things now that I didn't want five years ago or even last year. Could it be possible that my future self will like what I am afraid of today? I think so. Okay, I will go for it knowing I may want this.'
So I placed my fears aside and said YES. It was nothing like what I had encountered before. This pregnancy was exquisite, my family was right by my side the entire time, and I had my husband's support along with my kids. This pregnancy was a significant difference this time; I accomplished what made me happy and did not agonize about others' opinions. All I needed to do was say 'YES' to myself.
My third child 'Faaria Safa Ahmad' is the most beautiful experience of my life. She took me from fear to fierce. After her birth, I became a new rendition of myself. This same woman who was stumbling to manage two children with all responsibilities was now managing three children, work, cooking, cleaning, and all other duties even more meticulously. The first year was overfilled with books, laughter, classes, bonding, and more. In her second year, I felt more assertive; I felt something reinvigorated inside me. I was tenacious. It was a devotion to accomplish all that I desired. So this new mother of three determined to fly away to Paris, the city of love, where I fell in love with myself, completely head over heels.
Faaria Safa continues to be my secret strength and pillar. When I fell sick with a mysterious illness, this little two-year old was my ‘doctor partner’. We would visit doctors daily for almost a year. She was very supportive and always prayed for me. As she grew older we started playing dress up and love wearing Mother-Daughter matching outfits. Then when I became ill again with my dental malpractice pain, she again supported me for ten long strenuous months being me shining light and hope. Always praying for me and being by my side. Faaria Safa keeps me young and proud. She is truly my magic child who brought about a new woman waiting inside this whole time. It’s as if Faaria Safa brought comfort to the insecure inner-child within me; bringing her real potential out to the now world. Now both us girls are living la vida loco ;p
I cannot believe I debated five years for this miracle child of mine. I feel so blessed I said YES!
TRAVEL THE WORD
Little did I know that my Paris adventure would be the first of many. A newfound passion in me that welcomed worldly knowledge growth. Since Paris, I flew to Paris again and again. Then I visited Belgium, Amsterdam, Barcelona, Pakistan, London, Wales, Mexico, California, Florida, Canada, and recently Turkey. Traveling evolved a part of me I could never cease to let go of. The more I travel, the more I discover about myself. Traveling is like a visual inner growth. All this from just one determined YES!
When I travel, I encounter numerous magical things that happen to me. I thought it was luck the first few times, but then I realized that the universe synchronizes with your wavelength and creates unique, memorable moments when you are happiest. Life happens when you say Yes! Yes! Yes!
Aneela K. Business
After my first trip to Paris, where I evolved a stronger me (for the third time now), I returned to the states, registered my business, and held a successful first year. I worked my most challenging self and saw results coming through. Simultaneously I was working for Lancome, where I attempted just as demanding to cultivate. Alas, for reasons unknown, it wasn't working. It took me a YES to comprehend why it wasn't working. Because I was saying 'no' to myself all those years of labor, looking for approval and validation. I never needed it because I was created for more; my leadership high achieving personality never fit the attribute of following the wolf pack. I would loathe myself for being brainwashed to do what everyone else is doing. Until the day I said 'YES' to myself and let go, and now I love my life, career, and clients.
I am blessed. I rue that I prolonged to say yes to myself; however, that is life. We learn through tumultuous ventures. Better late than never. Past is past, and now I am in bliss.
REVAMP SITE AND BECAME A BLOGGER
Home, business, family all were going impeccably until the pandemic struck. I then made it my prerogative to keep the children and hubby optimistic while staying indoors for months. While I appreciated it all and felt very accomplished, I surrendered my fulfillment to empower women and make them feel exemplary. After the lockdown, I once again said 'yes' to myself. One of my greatest fascinations since 2003 was to live as a blogger. Unfortunately, I was not prepared; I lacked experience, and a vast dark cloud of apprehension followed me all those years. I wasn't enlightened enough with technology, knew nothing about producing a site, and frankly didn't consider myself and was fearful of writing the truth about my life and the people in it.
As years passed by, the passion just grew more assertive; technology was advancing; at this point, I held no choice except to keep up. And I suppose the anonymous email, the fashion social life, the new experiences, friends, new children, new business, traveling, and basically, the latest version of me confounded my fears and decided it was ultimately my time. So I initiated revamping my site in February 2020 and went live on my birthday on June 23, 2020. Since then, I have written weekly blogs published every Thursday consistently. My site analytics indicate the number of visits. My services rendered on my site are pretty successful. Not too shabby for a lockdown achievement.
So am I glad I said YES? Heck Yea.
Say It Louder
So I learned through all this, and what I hope to convey to my readers is to say yes more often. You may not believe in yourself; hold trepidations; you might own all valid and justifiable reasons to say 'no,' but know that you could be giving up a whole new version of yourself by not taking a chance. Maybe saying yes will lead to a different path to your dreams coming true. What I assumed I wanted in 2010 is so far-fetched from what I wanted. So now I say yes, a lot more. Not only do I say it more, but I also say it louder. I make sure I say it to my family, friends, community, and the world. Be humble in accepting that you may not know your future self and take the chance or risk to say YES! 'Yes' won't change the world, but it will change your world.
Yes Way Always,
