What Does it Mean?
To Be a Good Leader
“A good leader leads the people from above them. A great leader leads the people from within them.”
This blog is a continuation of the previous one, ‘Connect & Befriend the Inner Child.’ Hence it would do you mental justice to read that one before continuing as it would tie in your current ideology of authentic leadership based on your inner child parenting and environment.
The toss here is between the child who was overwhelmed with constant status, success, and future endeavors, the child raised with insufficient parenting, guidance, a complete underwhelming environment, and lastly, the child presented with love and a natural validation of being who you indeed are and loved for just that.
You see, the first two selections, although a world apart, still held to the same dier result; the need to be a leader. While the latter feels no hunger, no lacking, and lives freely. Little does that child recognize they will grow up to be an essential leader. Not by TITLE, AFFIRMATION, SENIORITY, or by being the ALPHA, yet instead, they will prevail to be the leader in its most trustworthy and ideal form; to lead by example.
Alas, we live in a new world now that is raging towards influencers, leaders by the number of likes, followers, social media acceptance, and more than completely eradicates the true essence of genuine leadership skills. On Facebook, Instagram, TikTok's post of a wise quote is not what is an influencer. If you wish to be a real-life game-changer, you must lead by not looking for credit, likes, following, attention, control seeking, and more. Let all that go.
Hone your skills and practice them to encourage others who feel critical, help other people feel more loved, more credible. The more you present it about yourself, the less you are leading. The best leaders are the ones that battle for the anxiety of others. History time and again shows this through Harriet Tubman, Rosa Parks, Benjamin Franklin, Martin Luther King, Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, and the list goes on.
New age procures a promotion at your job advances you into a good leader. Not at all. You must scratch this thought process, or you will both never be happy and blinded by the leadership skills you do possess to consider yourself a failure. If you nourish others to understand the work, strategies, life purposes, work goals, mental health aims, and interpersonal goals, you are a natural leader by the mere fact. You do not need anyone else to print you a title card to credit you for what you are within. Does that make sense?
“A good leader takes a little more than his share of the blame, a little less than his share of the credit. ”
Leadership Visionary
Referring back to the initial environmental circumstances, I interviewed four Young Men:
A man raised with utmost love and support with no coercion of status.
A man who did not have any parental guidance.
A man whose parents cared too much about his prestige and image.
A child raised with the utmost love and support with no coercion of status.
How do you believe they ended up? As a predicted theoretic, both men overwhelmed and underwhelmed parental and environmental pressure seek entitlement as a measure of success. Whether they deserve it or not is irrelevant. The questionable stance is why they feel unsatisfied with life or not enough fulfillment with the unique skills they do bring to the table. Why the urge for this leadership need. Could one not be a leader in numerous other ways? Could one not lead themselves to a better way of life by example; others will naturally follow and be impressed? And then, in due time, the promotion or opportunity may come on its own when you least expect it because now you were higher concerned about others rather than yourself?
Guess what happened to the other two men who received love and support without any demands or conditions? They are happy and content young men in life. How beautiful to live a life of freedom and enjoy it. To not feel caged by an imaginary refinement played by mind games from our inner child inadequacies inadvertently creating more inadequacy.
The funny caveat here is that one of the interviewees was adopted, yet the immense love he received from his new parents was so fulfilling, he ended being a thriving leader regardless. Although divorced with three little kids, he still gets up every day, smiles, and performs because he is a true leader. He knows that he needs to lead by example because his three innocent children watch how daddy lives.
Being a good leader is not only about leading at your job and your family; it's about you, and it's all the time, not something that comes in shifts. Either you are naturally trained to be a leader by other genuine leaders, or you can train yourself by inspiring others and helping those to your right and left.
Inspirational Leadership Quotes
Leadership is not about a title or a designation. It’s about impact, influence, and inspiration.
Robin S. Sharma
Lead from the back and let others believe they are in front.
Nelson Mandela
You don’t have to hold a position in order to be a leader.
Henry Ford
Become the kind of leader that people would follow voluntarily; even if you had no title or position.
Brian Tracy
A boss has the title, a leader has the people.
Simon Sinek
If your actions create a legacy that inspires others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, then, you are an excellent leader.
Dolly Parton
I start with the premise that the function of leadership is to produce more leaders, not more followers.
Ralph Nader
Often poor leadership is masked by those with the loudest voices and strongest opinions.
Nick Fewings
The difference between a boss and a leader: a boss says ‘Go!’ – a leader says, ‘Let’s go!’
E.M Kelly
Management is about arranging and telling. Leadership is about nurturing and enhancing.
Tom Peters
“A genuine leader is not a searcher for consensus but a molder of consensus.”
Let's forgo the stigmatic idea of a leader for a bit. I want to share a true story about a supervisor I met years ago. I remember being quite apprehensive as this was interview number six with the company, and rumor had it that this supervisor was demanding. I was very young and naive at the time; still, I prepared myself with the required knowledge.
I walked in. This man was wearing a regular button shirt, nothing too elaborate or showy. He sat in his chair with extreme confidence and began the interview. His questions were thought-provoking, and he probed to be sure he understood who I was under the influence of the interview. I walked out believing, damn, there's no way I passed his intelligence. I received a call the following day with hired success.
What did he see in me? Within the first week, I saw a different side of him. He was so kind, sweet, playful, with great wisdom and the most darn smile you'd ever seen, a smile that could take your stress away. After working with him for over a year, I can attest he saw ambition, determination, and growth mindset in hindsight. He picked up on attributes I didn't even know I had. Whenever I needed his help, he always encouraged me and added a few noble words of affirmation. He never once treated me as a subordinate. One day I asked him, 'You hold such a large territory to be responsible for; how do you even take out the time to reply to me and answer my concerns swiftly?' He replied immediately, 'I like to take care of concerns as they come and complete them, and no one is left hanging. This way, we all have a productive day." I was highly impressed. He gave me an excellent recommendation after leaving the company. I still remember him as one of the most outstanding leaders I've met. He never made it about himself. He made sure everyone felt heard and as they contributed. He brought the best out in those who had the honor to work beside him. Leaving the job was one of my greatest regrets, though possessing the opportunity to witness a great leader was my most significant gain. And I wouldn't trade that for anything. People come into your life for a reason. Much of who I am is attributed to great mentors in my life. He skyrocketed on top of that authentic leader list. Thank you so much, Ross Wiltse. If you know this man, consider yourself lucky!
Good Leaders Are Everyday Hero’s
You don't have to be 'Superman' or 'Superwoman' to be a hero. By doing what you feel is ethical and honorable is being a natural leader; or a hero. To stand up for one who is unable to speak with confidence, to protect a soul to your right or left (whether you know them or not), is genuine leadership. Standing up against what you believe is unjust makes you a good leader because you are grounded. Young children who hold firm beliefs will grow up to be the world's most outstanding leaders.
It must have been almost eight years ago that I was crossing the street, and a man dressed in a Spiderman Costume intentionally and brutally bumped into me. I immediately felt violated, yet how can I fight such a huge person? I was about to say something when I saw a young man walking with his woman holding hands; he let go of her hand immediately and pushed the dressed-up Spiderman and yelled at him, "What the hell is wrong with you? Don't you know ho two respect and treat a lady? I never wanna see you doing that again." Then the lovely young man looked at me and asked if I was okay? I thanked him for his help. He grabbed his girl's hand again, and they walked away. I don't remember much of his face now, as it's been years. However, I do remember how he made me feel; important, protected, happy. So in this scenario, who was the real hero? Costume Spiderman looking for attention, or the quiet man minding his own business until he saw injustice and stood to help a soul he didn't even know?
That is authentic leadership; it doesn't have to come with a title; it's embedded within you. It's been almost a decade, but that young lad still has my utmost respect.
Don't stress or try to impress; your finesse is more than enough. You are your leader. Think twice about why you want to be a leader; is it for you, for others?
Inspiringly Yours,
