It's Okay NOT to be Okay!
It's okay not to be okay. It's okay not to be okay. It's okay not to be okay. Need to say it a few more times? Go right ahead. I recommend making this your personal 'mantra.' So often life throws us a curveball, and even our peripheral vision didn't see it coming. Where does this leave so many of us; in a bottomless stress pit.
Set aside and ask yourself, why is this situation so painful? What can or cannot happen? Evaluate it rather than sinking in repetitive misery. Most often, our mind plays violent games with us be replaying the hurtful event copious times. My best recommendation is a solution rather than sulking. Remember, your life is your story, your path. If you are not okay with something, accept your feelings, and be done with it. Then take a deep breath and focus on something that you can control at that very moment and become a game-changer by changing your mindset.
The possibilities of not being okay are endless. The critical component here is not lying to yourself. You must be honest with yourself and tell yourself YOU ARE NOT OKAY right now. Processing the disappointment is your most significant step to being okay with not being okay. The denial is what hurts our mental health. Acceptance is key. Then you find comfort in knowing that this too shall pass.
A significantly flawed misconception is that happiness is consistent, perfection, or a lucky strike—wrong, wrong, and wrong. There is no single definition of joy, and happiness DOES NOT equivocate to a permanent state of mind.
Let's look at it from a different angle, while watching a video collage of your joyous moments; the mind forgets all the not so great moments in between. As if they never happened. This 'not okay' moment will also dissipate. Life is a string of fleeting moments of joy and sorrow. Some planned, some expected and some surprises. The desire for a constant state of bliss is and always will leave you struggling with a lot more than you can handle.
It’s Okay NOT to be Okay..
My strength, my courage and my confidence won’t allow me to deny my right to be vulnerable. I knew I wasn’t okay. And I was very much okay with it. Also knowing I will prevail when my moment to shine arrives!
(me after 3 rough weeks of acceptance. I totally deserved this smile.)
I very recently went through a traumatic experience. Something I could not imagine happened without my knowledge. Initially, I thought I was okay. Then it crept on me a few hours later, and oh boy, it hit me so hard that I fainted. I started experiencing dizzy spells and could not get myself to eat, and I lost 14 lbs, which brings my weight down to an unhealthy 82 lbs.
Except for one outburst of anger, I am very proud of how I handled the situation. I VERY MUCH KNEW I was not okay. I accepted the pain. I know this incident hurt me, and I knew exactly why. I also learned how to avoid it from happening again. Although I was extremely saddened, I kept up with all my daily scheduled activities with the kids, and I took care of all my responsibilities flawlessly, I continued servicing my clients as I never let my emotions get in the way of my job. And I kept my appearance and presentability to my usual standards, even with an original smile. Why and how the heck was I able to be my BEST even at my WORST? Because I am 100% in touch with my mind, body, and soul. I knew what I could or could not handle. I knew I was hurt. I knew when the time came; I had steps in place to overcome the concerns. There was no reason for me to put a pause on the rest of my life. Or to be upset with the people around me who counted on me to be my usual happy self. Overall I am a delighted individual, and I know how to care for myself. It's a different story that specific incidents can be heart-wrenching, and so your body will take a toll whether you like it or not. Let's say this incident prepared me for life. I am now very much aware of my capabilities and my strength. And even though my body took a severe hit, my mind is stronger than ever, and so are my decisions. I KNEW I WAS NOT OKAY; I ACCEPTED MY DISAPPOINTMENT, AND THEN I DID WHAT I NEEDED TO BE OKAY!
Knowing we will, at times, go through the wringer will prepare you for when that time comes. And even if you are not ready, it is incredibly vital for you to be prepared to be vulnerable to yourself. What does it mean to be vulnerable to yourself? It means to be okay with not being okay. To accept the fact that we all have our weaknesses as do we our strengths. If you must, look in the mirror and tell yourself, "I feel sad, I feel hurt, I feel pain, and it is okay. This conflict will help me learn and grow. It will allow me to reach inside and understand who I am and why this pain is so sharp." Pretending to be stronger than you are at any given moment, pretending anything you are not, is not healthy.
On the contrary, accepting your pain and emotions is giving compassion to yourself. It's you being gentle with yourself, and there is nothing wrong with this. I recommend this as the first step to any dilemma.
What's NOT okay is pretending to be okay, and then you inadvertently take your anger out on others who are unaware of your current circumstance. Anger isn't a real emotion. Anger is a direct cover-up for sadness, pain, or insecurities. So do your best and be cognizant of your pain and feelings. This way, you can avoid unnecessary anger. And if you reach the point where it all happened so quickly, and you are angry, then allocate some time alone and breathe slowly, meditate, go for a walk or any other physical activity.
Accepting accountability for your wrongdoings shows responsibility, maturity, humility, and wisdom. Ask yourself what is going on inside and how you can help yourself before causing more unrepairable damage.
So the next time you run into an adverse situation, choose to be okay about not being okay, and then you will be okay.
"I am not okay, but I know I will be."
Remember being a happy person overall doesn't mean you can never be stressed. It just means you can handle the stress better once you accept the truth.
You, Will, Be Okay,