Love Quantified
How Do You Measure Love?
“A FRIEND IN NEED IS A FRIEND INDEED ”
The phrase, because of its debatable meaning is used as reference to context. It is amongst the oldest known phrases with the first usage in Latin by Quintus Ennius in the 3rd century BC. When translated it means that a sure friend is identified or recognized when there is a difficulty. It has been in existence since the 11th Century by the Oxford Dictionary.
How do you quantify 'Love'? The truth is that there is no one answer. Love claims more adjectives than any other verb; noun ceased to exist. For some, it's respective, objective, or subjective. For others, it's matching the high prospective probability. However, for sure, love must be received by the human mind to feel secure, validated, essential, and complete.
So ask yourself, have you been there for a friend/family member lately while they are undergoing duress? If not, pick up the phone and call. A simple, 'I was thinking about you,' isn't too much to ask. And if the person starves for your love, it won't seem as comforting as if it were simply unsolicited.
Do you require a daily dose? Does it matter if it's from simply one person or you need many? No answer is untrue. It's okay. Understanding and internalizing your needs is a good start. Dig deeper, ask yourself why it draws you comfort? Once confirmed, it will be more natural to communicate your precise requirements. Be straightforward with yourself; what is that you necessitate feeling you are loved?
Love appears in many forms, though that is irrelevant. What form means something to you? I love it when people ask me about my progress during a difficult predicament. Recently I've been suffering from excruciating dental discomfort. It's been a relentless six weeks.
What keeps me going and staying strong? LOVE! Yes, I acknowledge that I am so loved. The number of texts, calls, messages, emails coming in daily are numerous. Ergo, not a moment seems as though I am alone cause the truth of the matter is I am not! I hold the comfort of beautiful friends. Some repeatedly cooked me soup, diverted my sheer pains with planting and gardening activities, or simply taking me out of the house. Some prayed with and for me daily. And the list goes on. Even strangers in the neighborhood reached out to offer me relief and guide me to some solutions.
Could, or should I feel sorry if I think about the people that ought to be there for me but did not even ask? Of course, I could, yet how would that assist? You cannot coerce someone to act as if they care. There are thousands of people out there who will publicly convey they love you; you should ask them how? I am serious, sit down and challenge them, "please share with me how you love me because I don't understand, see it or feel it? " Words are not always enough. Especially when you witnessed this person willfully act above and beyond for others, ask them what the difference is? They won't understand you because they are too ashamed or apathetic to admit it. Alas, it's because your love is not quantifiable. Or, to frankly put, not a priority. It's okay, don't get stuck. Move on. Focus on all the ones that are there.
A facade can only remain so long before the naked truth shows. Love isn't questionable; it never has been and never will. Whether someone is in your life forever or temporarily, what matters is, did they bestow you the love you craved while you were together? If they did, then that is the reason they were in your life. Once they can no longer manufacture that love for you, it is time for you to part.
Because subsequent that, it only becomes toxic. And that is not healthy for anyone. If you cannot love someone truly and understand needs, they are legit unable to quantify your love for them.
ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORD
Efforts now became a measuring tool for love. Whether it be a small or grandeur gesture, as long as you act upon your genuine admiration for another, it is appreciated. There are very few people who can deny quantifiable love. In most cases, love is well received. Unless the individual is undergoing serious self-esteem, insecurity, trust, abandonment, or depression issues, then you must accept you cannot modify what is not in the present moment. Trying to grab apples for a lemon tree will only give you sour apples.
“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade is a proverbial phrase used to encourage optimism and a positive can-do attitude in the face of adversity or misfortune. Lemons suggest sourness or difficulty in life; making lemonade is turning them into something positive or desirable.
The language of love is as complicated as you secure it or as simple as you execute it. Why not take the load off all the unnecessary complexity, and perform an act of kindness in love for those in need? Most people in need isolate themselves and feel lonely. Wouldn't you want to be shown affection, care, and consideration during strenuous times? Then so do they. Read that again.
How to Be Extra Kind with Loved Ones
Even with people we know and love, acts of kindness don't fundamentally spring out of nowhere. It takes a deliberate decision by us to be helpful. Here are some attempted and actual ideas for being kind to those special people in our life.
Give them a big hug.
Express your empathy. Often the greatest gift we can someone else is the gift of compassion.
Could you give them a handwritten card or letter?
Babysit for free.
Write them a letter.
Make them a meal.
Visit your parents. Tell them how much you appreciate them.
Treat them to their favorite coffee.
Say 'I love you’ with meaning.
Tell them how wonderful they are and how happy you are to have them in your life.
Ask, "How can I help you?"
Make them a cup of tea.
Listen to them carefully without interrupting.
Say, "I'm sorry."
Buy them a gift even if it’s from the dollar store.
Help with a household chore.
Tell them you wish you understood.
Bring them Ibruprofen for their headache.
Invite them.
Acknowledge and respect their feelings even if you feel they are not accurate/appropriate.
Hold their hand.
Buy them small chocolate (but not if they're on a diet. :-))
Listen while they speak of their wound.
Tell them about the best part of the day you just spent with them.
Let them sleep.
Offer them a drink of water.
Wear or use a gift they gave you in their presence.
Keep that sigh to yourself.
Use a kind voice even if you have to fake it.
Listen for the feelings behind the words.
Put chocolate chips in their pancakes.
Visit a sick friend.
Run them a bath.
Give a new mom her gift.
Respect someone's wishes.
Write messages of love..
Choose a book they might like and lend it to a friend.
Take them out to lunch or dinner..
Hold them while they cry.
Could you give them a chocolate cake?
Invite them over for appetizers.
Send a copy of a photo to the person in it.
Help them clean their home.
Share your knowledge with someone who needs it.
Share herbs from your garden.
Share a good recipe.
Pray for them and their family and message them you prayed for them.
Leave a rose, card, or a balloon at their doorstep.
Make a craft for them. (a plant, coaster, keychain, etc.)
Listen, Listen, Listen
The best way to ‘Quantify Love’ is:
‘Don’t just stand there: do something.’
or
Don’t do anything; just stand by me.’
Quantifiably Yours,
ANEELA K.
Love Your Blogger
Aneela K.
Now go show someone how much you ‘LOVE THEM’ & be sure to let them know what ‘LOVE’ means to YOU!