REFLECTION
Gives INTROSPECTION
“Out of life’s school of war—what doesn’t kill me, makes me stronger.”
This Empowering video illustrates resilience and affirmation of overcoming adversity.
This quote has become an overused and often parodied aphorism that, in my opinion, nevertheless accurately portrays the picture of resilience and affirmation for overcoming adversity. My story, told and heard repeatedly, is still emotional because I, the individual who lived through the journey, find myself at times frozen in awe that the worst is behind me. The last two weeks, in particular, held high momentum for me as I celebrated my Birthday with ultimate joy and many celebrations.
For some, it was just my Birthday; for others who genuinely knew my tribulations during the past year and a half, it was nothing less than a celebratory of life itself.
You have to have gone through much crap to be able to stand alone and stand tall!
So what am I trying to say with the term ‘Reflection gives Introspection?’
Many days and nights, I cried myself to sleep and sleep some more, fearing waking up to my reality. I am sure I went through all the emotional and mental trauma phases after the formidable distress of medical malpractice that compromised my quality of life.
So how did I get through it? I developed a minute-by-minute habit of reflection. I would reflect on my life, going as far back as possible or sometimes a recent happening which is easier to remember the sentiment. My reflections were not biased or in any particular order. They were random, scattered, and similar to an electrically charged atom. I would grab a thought and see where it would take me to help cope with my adversity.
If a disturbing memory popped up, I would reflect on the emotional or physical misery, and then I would speak to myself, saying, "wow, Aneela, you survived through that. You presumed it was not easy then and didn't see an end. Though eventually, an end did come, and in the end, you were okay. So consider this moment and know that one day there will be an end. Just push through another day, or maybe another hour." One hour at a time, I survived.
Then there were numerous reflections on my most incredible and happy moments. Those included special moments with my children or husband, prior travel adventures, life accomplishments, and, the greatest of them, all my friends who supported me through these challenging times.
Reflections can be both intentionally controlled or of free will. What I appreciated most about my reflections is that they reminded me that I was the same individual who lived those moments. When I saturated my thoughts with all that life carried or gave me, I realized how strong I was. How strong we ALL are.
Our mind is more substantial than we credit it. So allow yourself to feel the sentiments you felt before, and observe your growth and transformations through the instants that leap out at you. Combine all the strengths, positivities, and stellar moments of your life to get you through what currently is deemed debilitating. You can heal yourself through medicinal reflection. Doing so in common practice will generate a greater introspection of who you are and what you can endure. Never give up on yourself. I'm so proud to say I didn't give up.
Once committed, you can do anything. Empower yourself, be amongst others that lift you, believe in you, and most of all, you should believe in yourself. I hopped onto a plane and headed to a place I'd never been to be with people I never knew, and honestly, it turned out to be the most outstanding triumph and stellar moment of my life.
In the end, I was relieved it was over; sometimes, I cried in disbelief. Other times I froze in awe that the most challenging part was over, and I survived it. People can show great compassion, but only you know the pain you lived through. I turned 44 last week, but rest assured, I partied as if I was born again because, for me, it truly felt like a revelation or a rebirth, if you must.
My Birthday gift to myself - I call it the 'Survival Shoot.'
Celebrations
The Photoshoot In Istanbul was my first celebratory moment alone. It illustrated the strengths and beauty that survived the year. Many of my readers are perceptive, but for those who may not comprehend the entirety of pain, I would like to elaborate. It was more than physical pain; it included the dark days, depression phases, sleepless nights, arguments at home with family, comprised family dinners, difficulties performing daily responsibilities, at times; not having a shoulder to cry on, loneliness, unable to drive, low energy, lack of motivation to get up, despaired moments with doctor appointments, uncertainty. I was going around in pain, searching for the correct physician to end my misery, crying to random strangers, the desperation for empathy, and shouting in prayer. I lived through all that and more. I wish my past pain on no one, not even my haters. Therefore I earned my newfound self-love even more profoundly than before the adversity. And so I celebrated with all who were a part of my journey. If you were there through my dark moments, you earned to live and share my happiest moments.
My Actual Birthday
My actual Birthday. I celebrated this day with very close friends and family. I went out four times in four different birthday outfits and had a wonderful day celebrating and feeling special and loved. I received many flowers, cards, gifts, special treatment, calls, and messages. I entirely took it all in as I was well deserving.
Istanbul Birthday Partisi
My Birthday Party in Istanbul with my new friends, who became my family, was one of my most incredible memories. They were so happy to see me recover. They stood by my side, heard my cries, saw my tension, and shared my anxiety. They were just as delighted as I was to be free of this pain. So they threw me a beautiful birthday party before returning to the states. It's an indescribable feeling when strangers share your most extraordinary journey and, in the end, become people you cannot live without. Thank you, Istanbul, for all the moments we shared. None of it is in vain, and all of it is appreciated, and I will forever be indebted to your kindness and gratitude.
Aneela K. Official Garden Birthday Dinner
My Garden Birthday Dinner - way before my marital days, I was always intrigued by movies that would end with the characters sitting around an outdoor table as they are talking, smiling, and laughing, surrounded by delicious food, perfect weather, great lighting, and the perfect people in their lives. My birthday dinner was nothing short of the same. Though it took years to come to fruition, the moment was worth it. My husband built a patio where we could have dinner. My friends helped me organize my party. It wasn't even my first garden party; it was my first ever party at home. I cooked all the food. I cooked two trays of spinach lasagna, two trays of Alfredo fettuccine, two trays of rice pilaf, two trays of lemon butter salmon, and two large bowls of avocado salad. We sat by the appetizer mingle area for a bit, then moved to the patio for the official birthday dinner. The dinner was intimate, with lots of conversing but in a serene ambiance. We shared our highs and lows (a family tradition we extended to our guests) around the table.
Each individual shared their thoughts. I was surprised to hear so many of their highs were how happy they were to see me recover from my health toll. They were glad to see me happy. And, of course, my high was that I was honored to be surrounded by people who were my rock, pillar, and faith during my most difficult challenge. I thanked them for not letting me fall, lifting my spirits in times of darkness, and being the light of my life. Cheers to good health and good friends. AMEN
This blog is for those individuals who need the inspiration to keep going regardless of what life throws at them. It is not for those who consider it too dramatic or emotional. If the world was created in seven days, but it took nine months to make us, clearly, we are a big deal. So treat yourself that way. Be good to yourself, love yourself, respect yourself, and most of all, reflect daily to gain a deeper introspection of who you are and where you are meant to fly.
Always Growing,