Wheel of EMOTIONS
EMOTIONS behind the Wheel
“The pursuit of inner peace is more important than the search for happiness or success.”
Definition of Inner Peace
Here is how Wikipedia defines it:
“Inner peace (or peace of mind) refers to a state of being mentally and spiritually at peace, with enough knowledge and understanding to keep oneself strong in the face of discord or stress. Being ‘at peace’ is considered by many to be healthy and the opposite of being stressed or anxious.”
Definition of Road Rage
/rōd rāj/
: a motorist's uncontrolled anger that is usually provoked by another motorist's irritating act and is expressed in aggressive or violent behavior
: violent anger caused by the stress and frustration involved in driving a motor vehicle in difficult conditions.
'License to Kill' is indeed underestimated. Too frequently, we minimize ourselves to believe we are in control and not the wheel. When in fact, it is to the contrary. The wheel often controls you and your current driving circumstances.
If you think for a second that your wheel of emotions disappears once you are behind the wheel, you must be effin kidding me! Your emotions represent a direct hundred percent play in how you drive, the spontaneous driving decisions you make, how safe you are keeping yourself, precious passengers, and all those liabilities driving within your vicinity. So it's time to ‘shut the fuck out, before you get the fuck in.’
Emotions behind the Wheel are for Real and a big Deal
Have you ever questioned at times how you arrived home with your occupied mind contemplating your to-do list, or the dispute you just encountered, or a future communication you are preparing, or even while texting or calling? All this and more are the grounds for road rage and disturbed peace. Let's have a deeper look.
You are concerned about arriving home at a specific time.
You are anxious about going to a store/organization before it closes.
You had a difficult day and want to get home.
You are exhibiting tiredness and are not entirely alert.
You are diverted by your children/pets in the car
You cannot concentrate because you are pondering about or currently experiencing an argument while driving.
You are stuck in and despise traffic.
You are racing for fun or an adrenaline rush knowing there are risks you take.
Your just an asshole behind the wheel
Road Incidents we ALL experienced
A horn blast when the red light turns green and you/or the driver in front of you didn’t step on the gas pedal faster than two seconds.
When you were tired, not alert, and you moved out too far out of a ramp, driving exit, or a stop sign, and another driver slows their vehicle, turns their head toward you slowly, and gives you that hard stare like, ‘wtf is wrong with you'?’
When an irritated driver gives you the finger, or you gave them one.
When someone cuts you off out of nowhere, you constantly beep your horn until they get annoyed.
When a commercial truck is oncoming to your lane, and you are terrified of being in their blindspot.
When the cash drivers go in the EZ pass lane or vice versa.
When you're sitting in traffic, you see that one car constantly changes lanes only to get nowhere and is still within the same vicinity as your vehicle.
When you are tailgated, or someone is speeding up behind you to instill fear so you can get out of your lane so they can continue to drive fast.
When drivers cut you off, and don’t wait their turn for the exit ramp or the construction ahead.
True Story
One day I was driving on the highway, and I didn’t realize I merged onto a lane where a black SUV was very close behind me. It was late at night and almost a pitch-black sky that night. I suppose that added to the fear factor—the mysterious driver immediately drove in front of me. Not thinking much of it, I kept on driving. When I shifted to the right lane, so did they. Caught off guard, I moved back to the middle, and so did they. They continued to drive in front of me to any lane I signaled my indicator. I began to freak out a bit. I believe at the time, I was twenty-three. Now I wasn’t positive of their intentions, how angry they must be that I unexpectedly cut them off. This road rage went on for a solid twenty minutes. They restrained me; ergo, I could not take an exit or drive past them. While in the rightmost lane, I then decided to give my left indicator and profess to drive to the middle land, but instead, I immediately swerved onto the exit ramp and drove far away quickly before they can come back and spot me.
The point of sharing this story is two chief reasons:
You never know who is behind the wheel and what their emotional state is at the time. You could be the victim of being at the wrong place at the wrong time. My error was I should be more alert while driving and could have evaded the entire scare.
As long as I held my emotion of fear, I could not think with clarity. When I recognized I must take control of my emotions behind the wheel, I instantly came up with a clever strategy and saved myself from what could have been a dangerous experience.
True Story
I remember a girl whose husband was an aggressive driver. She regularly informed me she feels he is in a rush to get somewhere rather than enjoy the ride with his family. He would constantly change lanes or become bored in traffic and fall asleep behind the wheel. She was most nervous when and if they would argue, he would strike back at her by speeding furiously and dangerously while she and their minor children were in the back seat.
This behavior behind the wheel is NOT OKAY! These emotions do not belong behind the wheel of a responsible driver or, even worse, a responsible husband and father. You are instilling fear, displaying aggression, and neglecting the safety of children. Shall I go on? Leave your emotions at home, over the phone, or during social events, but I urge you not to carry any heavy, enraged, exhausted, frustrated, troubled emotions behind the wheel. It could induce harm to others or be the last decision you make.
How To Stop the Distracting Emotions While Driving?
With Inner Peace
We need to define what inner peace is.
Inner peace is not a state of passivity, and certainly does not make life dull. On the contrary, it makes you more conscious, alive and happy. It helps you live life more fully.
The strategy I am about to share will take time, practice, and transcendent effort before becoming effortless. Your patience will both benefit you and others to feel safe and enjoy the road.
The idea is to become more cognizant of your inner circle and focus less on others. Red lights, traffic, slow drivers, aggressive drivers, or any other form of road rage will not affect you at all once you approach this state of driving nirvana. Here is how you begin.
Next time you make a haste decision while driving, own up to it and take accountability. Immediately raise your hand as a sorry gesture and say the words 'I am so sorry.' I guarantee you ninety-percent of the time; the other driver will exhibit empathy and state, 'it's okay.' And for the ten-percent that don't. It's okay. First, you were in the wrong, so own it and display empathy for the fear or the inconvenience you provoked.
In the case that a driver speeds up and merges in front of you, cuts you off, tailgates you, gives you the finger or any form of aggression, keep your cool. Recognize that it is their problem, not yours. Ergo do not undo your calm state of mind for their negativity. Plain and simple, let them be. Imagine as a drop of water added to a lake causes a ripple; if you try to stop the ripple, you will only make it worse and expand its rippling effect. Ergo wait it out and let it come back to its natural state of being.
Allow the driver to speed by, change lanes, laugh, cuss, do whatever. The first few times, you will feel unsettled. And then you will see your reaction wasn't necessary.
The following few times, you will detect yourself amid anger and then question why you allowed yourself to feel their action; while you were well knowledgeable, you could have prevented it, yet it was habitual.
Next time you will carry the urge to speak or do something. Except you will make a judgment not to. You may experience mixed feelings, though eventually, you will accept not to play the game.
Then you will enter a phase where you notice things happen, and yet you appear unaffected. This phase feels excellent. It confirms you are now attaining control of your mind and not someone else's. If your reach this point, be proud.
The last and final stage is driving nirvana. This peaceful state is the best, and this is where I am and now have been for a few years. It's when you ultimately don't even notice the irrational aggression near you. And you continue to drive safely and happily.
*Disclaimer - I am referring to emotions and road rage. On the other hand, you should always be alert to your safety regulations and follow proper guidelines.
Drive Safe & Think Safer,
ANEELA K.
